雅思作文修改求助Topic:What are the reasons for losing a variety of languages and cultures ?

The advancement of the society improve the public's living standard, while it leads to another problem- the loss of language and culture in some areas. Personally, i think there are three main reasons that contributing to this issue.

Obviously, the alarming increase of people's enthusiasm of learning english accounts mainly for this problem. In order to pursue further education in abroad and seek a decent job, some youngsters spend the majority of time in english study, whereas ignoring the importance of their country's language in no small measure, consequently, the ability of using language decreased.

Furthermore, the pressure from survival is also an crucial element in terms of this problem. This is especially true in developing areas where local inhabitants live their life on tourism, such as selling souvenirs to tourists to support families. Hence they are required to utilize official language to communicate with travelers with view to maintain their business. The more they use foreigner language, the more possibly loss of native language will issue.

Moreover, the increasing aging population worldwide pose a potential threat to the existence of rare language, as the elderly are the main group using the local language, there will less and less young maintain the this heritage.

Therefore, the authorities and government should take measures immediately to prevent this problems becoming deteriorate. The main thing that the government should focus on is encouraging the local people use their language more and render them realize the importance and precious of it.

1.第一句advancement做主语,所以应该谓语动词用单三形式improves.
2.第一段最后一句that后面是定语从句,必须是有谓语动词的一个句子,contributing是现在分词,应改成contribute.
3.第二段第一句accounts mainly for this problem主要强调是为这个problem,不是其他的problem,想强调原因的话应该改一下顺序,mainly accounts for this problem能好一点。
4.第二段第二句in abroad,abroad已经是一个副词,不需要in,应该删去。
5.我认为第二段whereas是个连词,后面加ing分词不大好,改成ignore。
6.第二段最后一句consequently前最好用句号。因为用逗号的话是一个句子,不能有两个谓语动词的。(这在sat改错题中是典型的run-on sentence)
7.第三段只是觉得foreign language比foreigner language要好。
8.第四段population是第三人称单数,用poses
9.第四段最后一句可以改为there will be less and less youngsters...
10.最后一段this problem或these problems,而且记得prevent后面是不是应该接to do呢?

抠得比较细,后面写的挺流畅的,错误比较少,呵呵,加油
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