英语好的哥哥姐姐帮忙看看我的自我介绍语法对不对！急急急！...

Question

本人英语不是很好，帮忙看一下语法对不对。马上上学要用！！！！！！！！！！急急急急急急急急急！！！！！！！！！！、、、、
Hello everybody
My name is Jin Shixi
I'm 13 years old
I like singing and drawing
I'm good at drawing and many of my drawings have won prizes
My favorite colour is sapphire blue
My favorite music group is Super Junior,their songs are fascinating And i'm a happy and talented girl
I am very happy to come here to study with you
I hope you can like me
And I can become you friend soon
Thank you very much!

Answer 1

1,I'm good at drawing and many of my drawings have won prizes
有语法错误 改为：
I'm good at drawing and I have won prizes for many of my drawings/pictures.
2,I hope you can like me
And I can become you friend soon
can去掉，like改为其他词如：
I hope you will be happy to meet me ,and we will become friends soon.
3,My favorite colour is sapphire blue.放在I like singing and drawing 前。
Hope you will be nice in your new school!Come on!

Answer 2

Hello everybody
My name is Jin Shixi
I'm 13 years old 。
i'm a happy and talented girl

I like singing and drawing
I'm good at drawing and many of my drawings have won prizes
My favorite colour is sapphire blue
My favorite music group is Super Junior,their songs are fascinating 。动了下位置
I am very happy to come here to study with you
I hope you can like me
And I can be your(手误吧) friend soon
Thank you very much!本回答被网友采纳

Answer 3

写的很不错。
只有倒数第二句中的you应改为your。

Answer 4

I hope you can like me
And I can become you friend soon
以上两句有点问题，可以改成：
I hope you would Iike me.(这样更委婉些)
I am sure that we will become friend very soon.

Answer 5

many of my drawings won prizes .这个地方最好用一般过去时

Answer 6

第五句句末应该是won the prizes
第八句句末用come here and study with you更好
第九句用I hope you would like me更委婉些
第十句是your friend

希望对你有帮助！