英语作文:I want to be ......要求讲述你的梦想，以及你为什么有那样的梦想，通过怎样的努力去实现梦想。

Question

我的英语水平太差。写了一篇，请大哥大姐帮助改改。有好的范文推荐给我呀。多谢！
I want to be a reporter
When I grow up, I want to be a reporter. I'm going to move somewhere interesting.Paris sounds like a city that I could enjoy.
There are lots of things to do .So how am I going to do it ? First ,I'm going to find a part-time job for a year or two and save some money. secondly I'm going to write article and send them to magazines and newspapers.

Answer 1

"I'm going to move somewhere interesting.Paris sounds like a city that I could enjoy."你没写出为什么有那样的梦想——"because i want to move somewhere interesting.For example,Paris.I can interview somebody who is famous in Paris and take some beautiful photos there "
"There are lots of things to do.So how am I going to do it ? "这个句子属于直译，不对——"To be a reporter,we should do lots of things first .We should study hard and do something to improve our experience ."你只写你攒钱，没写怎么提高水平
"First ,I'm going to find a part-time job for a year or two and save some money. secondly I'm going to write article and send them to magazines and newspapers."写得详略不当，语法也有点错误，——"First ,I'm going to find a part-time job for a year or two to save some money. Second I'm going to write articles and send them to magazines or newspapers."
结尾不好"If I do it hard ,I will be a reporter in the future ."

总的来说就是基本上符合提议，但不够深入，如果这篇作文15分只能得7分

Answer 2

错的地方太多了，手机不好详说。很多地方单词用错啦...