第1个回答 2011-06-22
冷笑话↓
1.The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
2.I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
名人名言↓
·All things in their being are good for something.
天生我才必有用。
· Difficult circumstances serve as a textbook of life for people.
困难坎坷是人们的生活教科书。
· Failure is the mother of success. - Thomas Paine
失败乃成功之母。
· For man is man and master of his fate.
人就是人，是自己命运的主人。
· The unexamined life is not worth living. -- Socrates
混混噩噩的生活不值得过。 -- 苏格拉底
· None is of freedom or of life deserving unless he daily conquers it anew. -Erasmus
只有每天再度战胜生活并夺取自由的人，才配享受生活的自由。
· Our destiny offers not the cup of despair, but the chalice of opportunity. So let us seize it, not in fear, but in gladness. -- R.M. Nixon
命运给予我们的不是失望之酒，而是机会之杯。
因此，让我们毫无畏惧，满心愉悦地把握命运 - 尼克松
-Living without an aim is like sailing without a compass. -- John Ruskin
生活没有目标，犹如航海没有罗盘。-- 罗斯金
· What makes life dreary is the want of motive. -- George Eliot
没有了目的，生活便郁闷无光。 -- 乔治 · 埃略特
· Towering genius disdains a beaten path. It seeks regions hitherto unexplored.
-- Lincoln
卓越的天才不屑走旁人走过的路。他寻找迄今未开拓的地区。
· There is no such thing as a great talent without great will - power. -- Balzac
·没有伟大的意志力，便没有雄才大略。 -- 巴尔扎克
· The good seaman is known in bad weather.
惊涛骇浪，方显英雄本色。
· Fear not that the life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning. --J.H. Newman
不要害怕你的生活将要结束，应该担心你的生活永远不会真正开始。 -- 纽曼
· Gods determine what you're going to be. -- Julius Erving
人生的奋斗目标决定你将成为怎样的人。 -- 欧文
· An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding. -- Robert Louis Stevenson
生活的目标，是唯一值得寻找的财富。-- 史蒂文森
· While there is life there is hope.
一息若存，希望不灭。 -- 英国谚语
· Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value. -- A. Einstein
不要为成功而努力，要为做一个有价值的人而努力。 -- 爱因斯坦
· You have to believe in yourself. That's the secret of success. -- Charles Chaplin
人必须有自信，这是成功的秘密。 -- 卓别林
· Pursue your object, be it what it will, steadily and indefatigably.
不管追求什么目标，都应坚持不懈。
· We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. -- Mattin Luther King
我们必须接受失望，因为它是有限的，但千万不可失去希望，因为它是无穷的。 -- 马丁 · 路德 金
· Energy and persistence conquer all things. -- Benjamin Franklin
能量加毅力可以征服一切。 -- 富兰克林
· Nothing seek, nothing find.
无所求则无所获。
· Cease to struggle and you cease to live. -- Thomas Carlyle
生命不止，奋斗不息。 -- 卡莱尔
· A thousand-li journey is started by taking the first step.
千里之行，始于足下。
· Strength alone knows conflict, weakness is below even defeat, and is born vanquished. -- Swetchine
只有强者才懂得斗争；弱者甚至失败都不够资格，而是生来就是被征服的。 -- 斯威特切尼
· The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, make them. -- Bernara Shaw
在这个世界上取得成就的人，都努力去寻找他们想要的机会，如果找不到机会，他们便自己创造机会。 -- 萧伯纳
A strong man will struggle with the storms of fate. -- Thomas Addison
强者能同命运的风暴抗争。 -- 爱迪生
· He who seize the right moment, is the right man. -- Goethe
谁把握机遇，谁就心想事成。 -- 歌德
· Victory won't come to me unless I go to it. -- M.Moore
胜利是不会向我们走来的，我必须自己走向胜利。 -- 穆尔
· Man struggles upwards; water flows downwards.
人往高处走，水往低处流。
· Man errs as long as he strives. -- Goethe
失误是进取的代价。 -- 歌德
· The failures and reverses which await men - and one after another sadden the brow of youth - add a dignity to the prospect of human life, which no Arcadian success would do. -- Henry David Thoreau
尽管失败和挫折等待着人们，一次次地夺走青春的容颜，但却给人生的前景增添了一份尊严，这是任何顺利的成功都不能做到的。 -- 梭罗
· A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. -- J. Burroughs
· 一个人可以失败很多次，但是只要他没有开始责怪旁人，他还不是一个失败者。 -- 巴勒斯
第2个回答 2011-06-23
一只兔子,它一会左脚蹦,一会右脚蹦,一会双脚蹦.,为什么? 它喜欢.
一天肉被打成了肉浆,就去找面粉,对它说哥,我被欺负了,面粉说,包在我身上,从此以后就有了包子.