给这篇高中英语作文打分(满分25),谢谢
题目在这里：
我的作文： To enrich senior high school students' after-class life, recently our school has formed a bunch of clubs for students with different interests and talents. Seeing many of my classmates join their favored clubs one after another, my eagerness to join in them grows stronger and stronger. Then one day, I came to my mother for permission. Unfortunately, she disagreed totally and told me that currently, what counts most is studying and I should devote my whole heart into my schoolwork. Despite the discouragement, I tried to get mother's supportness. So I got it across to her that taking part in out-of-class activities will contribute a lot to overcoming the huge pressure we face as the college entrance exam draws nearer and nearer. Eventually, my mother was convinced and showed her understanding to me. And now I'm living a colorful life with those various activities.请按照满分25分打分，最好是老师。悬赏积分少了可以再加，真的谢谢了！
这是高考的评分标准
文章结构
全文结构不够清晰，主要观点未能准确表达；有时无法保持一贯清晰或恰当地使用指代。
（注意分下段落）
句间关系完全灵活且准确地运用丰富多样的语法结构；极少出现轻微错误，且仅属笔误。
文章内容
切题程度文章自身内容较为完整，涵盖写作任务要求的基本观点；有时出现过于一概而论的倾向或论点缺乏重点的倾向。
展开程度对语法及标点符号掌握较好，但有时出现少许错误；综合使用简单句式与复杂句式。
按照这样一个标准，我打21分。
就这两句
“ Despite the discouragement, I tried to get mother's supportness” change to "Despite her disapproval, I tried to get her support."
"as the college entrance exam draws nearer and nearer." change to "draws near"
"my eagerness to join in them grows stronger and stronger" personally speaking, I would use the word “my interest in these clubs grows stronger and stronger"
"showed her understanding to me" change to ”showed understanding“
还有，用Mum好像更好啊，难道您整天管妈妈叫 "母亲”么？追问
supportness我查了下，没有这个词，低级错误啊。
我感觉写作文是不是要正规点，所以用了mother，答案上的范文也用的是mother。不过似乎mom是好点。
那几个句子你指出的不当都很好，让我豁然开朗，下次我一定注意，不过想写得特别地道很难啊，就几十天就高考了。
佩服你的语感！
高考别紧张啊，其实可以看出来你英语底子不错的（嗯，原来高三的水平就是这样的）。其实语言吧，要真学好还挺难的，我们语言老师对于语感以前说过，“你用中文怎么说，你就用英文怎么说。”
希望能帮到你，祝高考有好成绩啊。
grammar 8
skill 7
total 22追问
这位大神，没见过这个评分法，能说下creative、grammar、skill满分各是多少分吗？
给点理由，哪方面写得不太好？可不可以？
追答过度不好
什么意思？