我写了一篇英语作文,帮我修改一下好吗?非常感谢你!

The moment I was praised by my mother
At home, my mother always praises me. When I finished homework, my mother praised me. She said, ‘You're a love learning’s good boy.’When I finished, I washed dishes and my mother praised me. She said, ‘You're a love working's good boy.’Hear the sound of praise, I was happy. At that moment, I thought, my mother worked hard and she was tired. Therefore, I have to study hard and return to her. Thank you, mother.

The moment I was praised by my mother
My mother is the best person in my eyes. When I finished homework, my mother praised me. She said, ‘You're a struggling boy.’After finished, I washed dishes and my mother praised me again. She said, ‘You're a good boy.’Hearing the praise, I was happy. At that moment, I thought, my mother had been working hard and she was tired. In return, I have to study harder an. Thank you,my dear mother,for every little thing you did for me.

说真的,有点难度啊 不过还好,楼主文采斐然,改好后还是挺棒的,继续加油啊!O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

对了,别忘加分哦

参考资料:本人原创

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第1个回答  2010-08-26
嗯,写得不错,没有什么可以修改的。
第2个回答  2010-08-26
你写的什麼哦 ~
越写越瞥!!!
第3个回答  2010-08-26
呃……你这个第一句是个一般现在时,而且有个一般现在时的“always”,你后面那几个“When”啥啥啥的就应该用一般现在时。整个作文的时态给老师一种很奇怪的感觉。想要不大改,第一句最好删掉。改成别的。
还有那个“love learning’s good boy”,非常不专业,倒不如写成struggling(努力的)孩子,还有“’Hear the sound of praise,I was happy”重大语法错误!一个句子两个动词,一个皇上能有两个皇后吗?改成hearing.
感情表达不够强烈。比如在“mother”前面加上个“my dear”,这样不是更好?
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