three ways to keep peace in the dormitory
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Li Xiongfeng and his roommates had all fallen asleepin the quiet night. But then his phone suddenly started ringing loudly and wokeeverybody up. One of his roommates was annoyed and Li was not happy about thedisturbance either.
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âIdidnâtexpect such a trivial matter could sour my relationship with my roommates,âsaid Li, 20, a sophomore law major at South China Normal University.
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Last week, Fudan University issued a statementregarding the preliminary police report on the poisoning of a student by hisroommate that shocked the nation.
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âTrivialmatters in daily lifeâ were blamed for the tragedy, inwhich 27-year-old Huang Yang was killed.
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According to experts, itâsthe small things that can cause serious problems for dormitory relations. Astheir first lesson at college, students should learn to compromise when livingwith their peers and be tolerant toward them.
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Dormitory relations are among the top concerns forstudents who enjoyed being the focal point of their family in high school. Only43 percent of college students in Wuhan, which has more than 1 million collegestudents, are happy with their dormitory relations, according to a report byWuhan Yangtze Business University released in January.
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âThiscommunal way of living is new to students, the majority of whom are singlechildren. Many of them expect people to change for them, not the other wayaround,âsaid Tan Mali, deputy Party secretary at South China Normal University.
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For many students, respectingotherâs property and personal space is the foundation tomaintain peace in the dormitory.
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Liao Fei, 22, a senior majoring in biology at PekingUniversity, believes that in a shared space, all roommates should help inkeeping the room tidy instead of placing the burden on just one while theothers do whatever they want.
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âEveryonehates dirty places. If you make a mess, donâtleave it for someone else to clean up. Make sure you do your fair share ofdormitory chores, such as taking out the trash and recycling, and cleaning thewashroom,âsaid Liao.
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No matter what, conflicts areinevitable when living with others for four years. But a conflict isnât the end of the world. Aserious talk or even just a joke can fix the problem.
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Luo Lisha, 22, a senior majoring in journalism at theCommunication University of China, had an argument with her roommate a whileago.
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Instead of burying her feelings, Luo talked with herroommate and theyâvebeen getting along well ever since.
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âBeingfrank and letting everyone speak their mind is a great way to let off steam,âsaid Luo.
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According to Sun Jianmin, dean of the PsychologyDepartment at Renmin University, learning to compromise around others is one ofthe most important lessons in life.
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âDoesit really matter if someoneâs cup was not rinsed out or iftheir computer was left on all night? If it bothers you a lot then bring it up,but if itâsa small thing - just let it go,â said Sun.
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âItâs tempting to vent your frustration on others whenthings start to annoy you. But itâsbetter to talk about it with others in a way they can accept. Being obsessedwith insignificant things only creates more problems.â
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