我写的高中英语作文，麻烦评下分（满分20分）

Question

要求：120字左右
1.谈论看电视的好处与弊端
2.谈谈你自己的观点
以下为我自己今天写的作文，满分20请大家按高考要求评分
Currently,there is no denying that television,to a certain extent, has played a significant part in our life. As is shown according to the reserach,a quantity of people regard it as amusement,most of whom are children.Nevertheless,beyond doubt,not only does watching TV have pros but cons as well.
For one thing, a mount of people can learn a lot from television which, to a certain degree,has a significant impact on our life.In addition,not merely can we get some information ,but also we can enrich our spare time.More importantly,we could also
bring us imagination as well as know the social condition by means of watching TV .
For another,It is universally acknowledged that every coin has two sides and watching TV is no exception ,for the reason that certain people ,exspecially children,are fond of watching TV day and night,which is bad for their eyes seriously.Besides,those who watch TV frequently may become near-sighted.Last but not the least,if you watch TV frequently,it will stop us from
building up.
As far as I am concerned,I am exceeding for the opinion that watching TV is a good way to have fun due to the reason that it could brings us some amusement and information.But for it,we couldn't have got such a good many of knowledge as well as have a good time.

满分20分

Answer 1

这位同学，嗯..恕我直言，你的作文过于追求所谓的高级短语和词汇，而且能看出文章有明显的拼凑痕迹，套话，空话，模式化的结构使用频率太高，很多短语你还驾驭不了，感觉是为了刻意使用而强行塞进去的。因此，空有argument却无论证，言之无物，意群连接生硬。如果让我给分，顶多给你个及格分12.
建议你读读这篇，虽然也是模式化写作，但串联和所谓的高级词汇的使用要比你的那篇娴熟的多。好了，说了这么多废话，最后再啰嗦一句，祝你高考成功！

Is Television a Blessing or a Curse?
Now, it is generally accepted that television plays an important role in people's lives. But there is an ongoing heated discussion as to whether television is a blessing or a curse.
As is often pointed out by some people, television keeps one better informed about current events, allows one to follow the latest development in politics and science, and offers and endless series of programs which are both instructive and interesting. The most distant countries, the strangest customs and the most attractive scenes of nature are brought right into one's room.
However, other people insist that television is a curse rather than a blessing. They argue that it has brought about many serious problems. The major one is its effects on young people. They are now so used to getting their information, education and entertainment from television that their literacy as well as physical ability has been greatly weakened. Even worse than that, vulgar commercials and indecent programs may cultivate their bad tastes, distort their viewpoints towards human life to such a degree that their minds might be corrupted.
In summary, television has both advantages and disadvantages. Whatever effects it has, one thing is certain, television in itself is neither good nor bad. It is the use to which it is put that determines its value to society.

Answer 2

15分，我认为写的不错了

Answer 3

18分吧，就是不知道你书写怎么样，要是书写很好，作文就完美了。本回答被提问者采纳

Answer 4

19分