英语达人帮我看一下这样用语法有错吗

Question

HI，我在你商店里看到XX，但是你的库存显示该XX只剩一件了，请问这是展示用的还是销售用的，如果我打算在你商店内购买XX，你能马上发货吗？因为这是送给我儿子的礼物，期待你的回答

HI，I saw the xx in your store,but only 1 left in your stock,Can you tell me this one which is on sales or just showed,because i want to sended a gift to my son,i'm Looking forward your answer.

Answer 1

HI，I saw the xx in your store and it shows that only 1 piece is left in your stock, Could you tell me it is for sale or just on display?Because I want to buy one as a gift for my son, will you deliver it right away if I make an order? i'm Looking forward to your reply.

你不是正式商务英语，所有有错误也没影响什么。to buy one , 别写buy it , 那样说你就要的那件。 出售的确是 for sale , 如果我买了，能不能马上发货，，从句用一般现在时，主句用将来时，will , 如果用can , 听着语气会很生硬，说的英语的意思是，我买了，你可能会发我么，那不是废话，，因为情态动词can,最本质的意思是客观可能。 就是最早不能问 can you speak chinese? 他即使一句不会英语， 他也可以说 yes, i can ,那回答是我当然有这个可能了。 所以问的地道的是 do you speak chinse? 你会说汉语么？

还有原文说，我打算买，你能发么？ 这个中文说的就不对，想了，打算了，就发货？不可能，所以翻译成英语时，不要把这种也翻过去，那就造成理解错误了。

正式商务英语要准确表达，这个只是买买东西，无大所谓。
英语中，时态，语气，逻辑，甚至代词，都是需要注意的，就更不用说,for sale 这样用法了，更要准确， 否则，老外会不懂你说什么的。 这也是为为什么我们中国人说的英语中国人都懂，但老外不一定懂的原因了。

Answer 2

修改如下：
Hi. I see the xx in your store,but there is only 1 left in your stock. Can you tell me whether this one is for saling or just showing? Because I want to send it as a gift to my son. I'm Looking forward to your answer.

来自【学习宝典】团队
有不明白的地方欢迎追问
如果认可我的回答
请点击下面的【选为满意回答】按钮
谢谢~本回答被提问者采纳

Answer 3

which is on sales改成whether is for sales on sale是打折的意思 just for display 仅仅为了展示 want to send 不是sended
forward 加个to

Answer 4

供参考

Hi, I saw xxx in your store with only one in stock. Could you please let me know whether it is for sale or on display. If I want to get one from your store, can I get it right away? This is for my son's birthday. I am looking forward to your soonest reply.