一篇英文读后感 请大家帮我修改一下。谢谢。

Question

如题所述

Answer 1

Cross
the
big
desert?----Crossing
the
big
desert?
Climb
the
high
mountian?--Climbing
Or
sail
the
sea
alone?---sailing
if
you
dare
to
dream
with
their
actions-----if
you
dare
to
dream
and
take
actions
In
the
book
Desert
mountain
Sea,three
women
really
moved
me--中式英语
改为I
was
moved
by
the
3
women
in
the
book
Desert
mountain
Sea.
Ronbyn
is
one
of
the
most
bravest
women
that
I
have
ever
seen。----
最高级写错了，最勇敢the
bravest
First,
She
could
make
a
brave
decision
which
is
gongacross
desert
with
camels----读着真别扭。gongacross是笔误么？
改为First,she
made
a
brave
decision
to
cross
desert
with
camels.不需要从句WHICH了，太罗嗦。
finally,she
succeeded
after
she
tasted
all
the
pain
---改为suffered
all
the
pain.
And
she
saw
the
sea
which
is
wide
and
deep
as
her
dream---
Finally,she
saw
the
wide
and
deep
sea
just
like
in
her
dream.就wide
and
deep没必要用定语从句了。
点评：总体来说，文笔通顺，语病不多，逻辑清晰。
但是，总是用中文思维造句，先想好一句中文再逐字翻译成英文的写作方法也算是初学者常见的情况，多读多写，就能改进。
另外，1234四点言之无物，有凑字数嫌疑。
我不是中学教师。